What Motivates You?

My management team at work is reading the book The Secret: What Great Leaders Know — And Do by Ken Blanchard (look for a full review later). As part of the discussion, a member of the team asked “What motivates you?” and we decided to go around the room and have each attendee explain the motivational factors that keep them engaged in their job. Most of the answers were predictable: “It’s the people that motivate me.”

I was the last to go, and boy, was I nervous. As each person ended their explanation and the next person began, I could feel my heartbeat quicken. When it was the turn of the person next to me I’m pretty sure that the pulsing of my heart was visible through my button down.

But I wasn’t nervous about speaking in front of this group. I knew everyone fairly well, and am comfortable talking to each one of them. My nerves were heightened because of the decision that I was faced with: Do I give a cookie cutter answer or do I speak from the heart and truly let everyone know what motivates me? Don’t get me wrong – Everyone’s answers were good, but they felt safe, and guarded, and if I was going to get people to understand then I needed to be transparent.

Finally, it was my turn and I could feel the eyes in the room slowly begin to look my way. I took a deep breath, leaned forward in my chair, resting my elbows on my knees and slowly began to rub my hands together. After a moment, I cleared my throat and said:

Note: This is a paraphrase of what I said in the room as I can’t recollect it verbatim.

You may fool the
whole world down the
pathway of life,

And get pats on your
back as you pass,

But your final reward will
be heartaches and tears

If you’ve cheated the
man in the glass.

“This is going to sound awfully superficial, but please bear with me, because it is not. Every morning and every night I look at myself in the mirror…

…When I look into that mirror I see me – for better or for worse. And when I see myself I ask a question, “Do I like the guy that is looking back at me?” Sometimes the answer is no, and it’s on those days that I know I have to make a change.

Only I truly know who I am, and I need to be honest with myself, because at the end of the day, when I stand in front of the mirror brushing my teeth, I’m right there, looking back at me. Now I’m not a horrible person, however, every once in a while I behave in a manner that is not representative of who I am or who I want to become.

To be a leader I need to act like a leader – what motivates me is the burden of leadership. Sure, being a leader is a gift, but what keeps me engaged is the fact that you and I accepted a management position knowing that it was our responsibility to lead. Sitting at this table as a manager in this organization does not automatically mean that we are leaders. Anyone can be a leader and if you look across our organization you can clearly see that there are leaders among us without management titles. It is our responsibility to know who they are and embrace their skills.

And being a leader means that we have to constantly step up our game. We are here to serve our teams – not tell them what they have to do. This management team needs to be on the same page. We need to bring our problems to this group and help one another solve them so that when we leave this room we leave as a team with one voice, and collectively show the rest of the organization where we’re going.

It is my responsibility to always be a couple of steps ahead of my team and remove whatever roadblocks may cross their paths. My shoulders are there for my team members to stand on so that they may become better at their jobs and hopefully better than I can be.

…That is what motivates me.”

It was a hard thing to say outloud, and I’m sure that I had a red face and glassy eyes at the end of it. But I’m pretty passionate about life and it felt great to be completely transparent with my team. In the days and weeks to come we’ll see what happens as a result of the conversation, but already, I feel that we respect each other even more because of the exercise.

So what motivates you? It doesn’t have to be work-related. What are you passionate about and how do you make it a part of your life daily? What do you do to stay the course?

Finishing the Definition

When I bought this domain name, truebluetitan.com, I was searching for a word or series of words that would describe my purpose in life. A littler deeper than the usual domain search, I know. The combining definitions of the phrase “true blue” and the word “titan” seemed to fit perfectly – “one of prodigious size, strength, and achievement with inflexible faith and integrity”. My north star was born, and from it, a rather clear perspective on what life was about.

One of prodigious size, strength, and achievement with inflexible faith and integrity for the Glory of God.

Five years have quickly gone by since the creation of my north star. Since then, I kept finding myself looking at the words, re-evaluating them, and at the same time, myself. Something was missing. Sure, the word encompasses everything that I want to be in this world, but it doesn’t say why. I’ve felt this way for a long time, and my usual inner-voice response was “because it’s the right thing to do”, but that answer only pacifies me temporarily.

Well, I’m proud to say that, after a lot of soul-searching, I now understand why I feel this way about myself and life. My north star is God, who sent His only son to this earth to die for us. This is why I need to be the best man I can be – for Him. Now, the definition is finished. Everything I do is “for the Glory of God”.

Starting Over

2009: The fall of the foundation

As the sun was setting on the 2009 Calendar year it felt like everything in life was falling into place. I was engaged and we were busy planning the rest of our lives together. Then life did what it does best and threw a monkey wrench in those plans. The foundation on which I had spent years building crumbled quickly and painfully, and with it, took everything built on top of it.

For over a year I kept my heart behind a rather thick wall. I stuck with what I was good at – work, and very quickly pushed away anyone who might have the remote chance of hurting me. Thankfully, a lot of wonderful people never gave up on me and urged me to have some über heart-to-hearts with the big guy. That soul searching was just what the doctor ordered. As 2010 comes to a close I feel at peace with the new direction of my life and am starting to think “What’s next for me?”

What does this mean for TBT?

I’m a firm believer in having a strong foundation from which to build on. Truebluetitan is the core of who I am and I plan to use this space to document everything positive that has come out of my experience – how it has renewed my faith, made me a better leader, and inspired me to give back even more. So it’s time to get focused…

Until next time, I have a few parting words:

1. Life is unpredictable. Go with it. When life throws a jab at you, try your best to duck and weave to miss getting hit. Sometimes, like me, you get a left hook to the face and get knocked off of your feet. It’s OK to stay down for a bit, but collect yourself and get back up before you’re out of the game for good. If you can’t do it on your own – call me. I’ll help.
2. Stay The Course. Sometimes things don’t go the way you want them to. Instead of stomping your feet and saying that life is not fair, do something about it. Stick up for what you believe in and continue to move towards your true north.
3. Set Your Foundation. Sure, I lost something that meant the world to me. However, I didn’t lose everything. Knowing who I am at my core has helped me through the bad times and it will do the same for you.

Can you relate?

Have you ever gone through something that shook your core only to get back up and think “That’s all you got?” If so, I’d love to hear your story.